17 Magazine
by letthew0rdsfl0w
Summary: It tells me you're in love. Seddie. Should be 11 chapters. Chapter 3 is now up!
1. Prologue

**A/N: I'M SORRY. I'VE BEEN SO NEGLECTFUL. TT**

**school has been reallyreallyreally busy lately (i'm taking 2 ap classes. fuuuunnn.) and i made my school's basketball team and i've just been so busy!!! i'm sorry, forgive me! (makes cookies for wonderful readers)**

**okay, so the story is called 17 magazine and it's based off of those BS love quizzes in teenage magazines. yeah, that's what's going on here. **

**it's seddie. don't like it, then gtfo mah strawberries. **

_DISCLAIMAH: LOL I LYK SO TTLY DNT OWN iCARLY. NICKEELOWDEEUN DUZ ROFLCOPTER. _

* * *

Sam walked into the iCarly studio for rehearsal, almost 20 minutes early. This was unusual. Usually, she'd be 10, 20 minutes late but when she came home from school and saw her mother talking to the dog, she knew she needed to get out.

"Hey Carls," Sam said, throwing her coat on a beanbag.

"Hey," Carly replied, not looking up from her magazine that she was reading.

Sam peered over Carly's shoulder, "What are you reading...Do you have a crush on him? What kind of shiz is that?"

Carly quickly put down her magazine, "Hey! It's just a stupid little quiz that I'm taking."

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Carly sighed, "Okay, you know that cute kid in my algebra class?"

"Shane?"

"Yeah, him. Well, he's sorta...cute and I sorta...like, LIKE him and I want to know if I just like like him for his looks or for his personality."

Sam laughed, "How very mature and responsible of you, Carly. But, it's probably all bullshiz anyway. Those quizzes are just for desperate girls who need a boyfriend."

"Yeah, you're right," Carly replied.

"Carly! My foot's stuck in my sculpture!" Spencer called out from downstairs.

Carly chuckled, "Be right down!" she yelled, "Spencer's making a vending machine filled with tape. He calls it a "mending machine." I'm gonna go help him, be right back!" she said to Sam.

Sam slumped in the beanbag chair. _That quiz is such crap. It probably says Carly likes Gibby. Or even worse, I like Freddie, _she thought, shuddering at the thought of her liking that...nub. She stared at the magazine for a couple of moments before picking it up and grabbing a pen from Freddie's computer cart.

"Eh, let's take this damn quiz. Just for laughs," she said to herself.

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**Short? I know, R&R my great peoples! :D  
**


	2. Question 1

** A/N: happy valentine's day / single awareness day everyone! **

**here's chapter 1, fo realz. the other chapter was just a prologue. enjoy & r&r :)**

_Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, or a valentine. :( SINGLE AWARENESS FTW. _

_

* * *

_**Question 1: Do you try to cross his path, just to say hi?**

**A) Yes.**

**B) No.**

----------omglolflashback----------

Fourth period chemistry was always a bore, especially when you had a teacher like Mrs. Collins, who had absolutely zero personality. When the bell rang, Sam was relieved. Lunch. The only class she could actually pass...if you got a grade in it, anyway. She usually walked alone, since Carly was going to lunch from a completely different side of the building. It usually only took three minutes to get from chem, to her locker, and then lunch, no longer.

One day, after Mrs. Collins finished lecturing Sam about how she was failing all of her chemistry labs and nearly blew up the whole school one time when she mixed hexane with octane (Sam just saw it as the blue liquid and the red liquid). Luckily, her lab partner was able to stop her just as she was about to mix them together. After her lecture, she looked up at the clock. _Shit!_ she thought, _I only have a minute to get to lunch! If I'm late again, I get triple detention!_ Sam quickly packed everything into her bag and ran out the classroom door. She took not even ten steps when most of her books fell out of her bag. Sam groaned as she hurried to grab all of her books and stuff them back into her bag. Then, she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Need help there, Sam?" It was the voice of Freddie, Sam's "friend" and object of her frequent verbal and physical abuse.

"Um," Sam stuttered, shocked that the nerd actually cared to stop and help her, "Sure."

"Where are you going?" Freddie asked.

"To my locker, then lunch. Which I'll probably be late to and get a triple detention from Mr. Howard...again." Sam replied.

"My social studies class is right near your locker, want me to walk with you?" Freddie said, with an odd smile.

_Why is the nerd being so nice today? Is he on drugs? _Sam thought. "Sure, I guess if you want to." she replied.

They walked together. Freddie talked about his geeky tech stuff, only to be interrupted by Sam's jokes and punchlines. When they reached Sam's locker, they said their goodbyes, and Sam opened up her locker.

"Did I actually enjoy not being lonely? I mean, it's only the nub, but at least I have someone to walk to my locker with. It's better than no one." Sam said to herself.

Every day after that, Sam packed up extra slow in her chem class, so she can meet Freddie and walk with him to her locker. After a couple of days, their fighting wore down, and they ended up talking about things they both had in common, whether it be iCarly, how bitchy Ms. Briggs was, or one of Spencer's latest creations. Sure, Freddie made the occasional dorky comment and was therefore subjected to Sam's witty comebacks, but those had grown to be far and in between.

Although, Sam did have a price to pay when walking with Freddie, it took longer to get to lunch, and most of the time she heard the bell ring just as she closed her locker. Which meant that Mr. Howard was at the ready with a detention slip, with Sam's name on it.

---------omglolendflashback----------

Sam circled yes for that question, and sighed. "Okay, one down, eight to go."

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**R&R kiddies :) **


	3. Question 2

**A/N: two chapters in one night? you lucky duckies! :D**

**here's chapter 3 ("question 2"). r&r folks! **

_Disclaimer: no poseo icarly. hay cerdos del vuelo en mis pantalones. ¡AY YI YI YI YI YI! (translate that and you get a cookie.)_

* * *

**Question 2: Does your heart skip a beat when you see him? **

**A) Whoa, yes!**

**B) No.**

----------roflcopterflashbacksoisoisoi----------

"Sam, are you done getting ready?" Carly yelled to the bathroom door. Tonight was the night of the iCarly awards and she, Sam, and Freddie were getting all dressed up in spiffy dresses and tuxes, just like celebrities at a "real" award show would do.

"Carly, do I have to wear...this?" Sam groaned. She hated dresses. Almost as much as she hated vegetables. And homework. And school.

"Yes, Sam," Carly replied, sounding more like Sam's mother than her friend. Sam groaned even louder. "I'll give you a handful of Canadian bacon after the show!" Carly replied.

"You will?" Sam said, with hope in her voice. Oh, how she loved Canadian bacon! It was number three on her favorite foods list.

Carly giggled, "Yes, I will!"

"It's a done deal, then! Can you just help me with the zipper?"

"Sure," Carly replied, going into the bathroom to assist Sam.

At that moment, Freddie walked down the stairs, all decked out in a tux, a bowtie, and shiny shoes. His hair was greased back, thanks to his mother, but he had managed to get some of the gel out of it and bring some of its natural poofiness back.

"Hey, Spence," he said, seeing Spencer working hard on assembling the iCarly Awards statuettes.

"Hey, Freddo. Whoa! Looking spiffy there!" Spencer replied as he and Freddie exchanged a knuckle punch.

"Thanks, any lint on me?"

"Not on the front, spin around," Spencer replied. Freddie did a ballerina twirl, and Spencer laughed.

"What's so funny?" Freddie said, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Spencer said between laughs, "You're good, you can turn around now." Freddie rolled his eyes, and turned back around.

"You look great, Freddo. Just fix your bowtie, and you're set," Spencer said, reassuringly. Freddie went up to a mirror to fix his lopsided bowtie. When he got to the mirror, he noticed a glob of gel still stuck in his hair and pulled and tugged to get it out.

Carly and Sam stormed out of the bathroom. "I hate zippers! They're so uncooperative!" Sam yelled.

"It's not the zipper's fault that it refused to budge. Maybe you gained a few pounds from that ham," Carly teased, poking Sam's stomach.

"Hey!" Sam replied, "Momma really loves her ham!"

Carly laughed, "We're ready!" she yelled to Freddie and Spencer.

Spencer turned to face the girls. His hands were covered in sticky, tacky glue. It showed he was hard at work making the statuettes. Then, Freddie turned to face them. His bowtie was now straight and his hair now perfectly poofy. Sam, stepping out into the living room, stopped and looked and Freddie. Her heart stopped and it seemed like he was the only one in the room.

_Wow,_ Sam thought, _The boy cleans up good. Who would have thunk? He's actually borderline...hot! Wait, what? What are you thinking, Puckett?! He's supposed to be a nub, the person you abuse, the person you hate! You're not supposed to think he's hot! Snap out of it, girl! _Her internal battle with herself was interrupted by the sound of Freddie's voice.

"Carly, you look...amazing!" Freddie said, awestruck. _Gag me,_ thought Sam.

"Thanks, Freddie," Carly replied, smiling.

"And Sam, you look...um..." Freddie struggled with trying to find the right word that wouldn't insult Sam, but wouldn't overly please her either. "Clean."

"I will take this as an compliment. Thanks nub, you don''t look half bad yourself." Sam replied, lightly punching Freddie in the shoulder.

Freddie's watch beeped. "Guys, we're live in five minutes!"

"Okay," Carly responded, "Have fun making statuettes, Spencer!"

"Will do," Spencer said, waving with his sticky hands. With that, Freddie, Sam, and Carly hurried up the stairs to the loft, ready to do another peppy webshow.

----------roflcopterflashbacksoisoisoi----------

Sam sighed, "I guess that counts," and circled yes on the paper.

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**A/N: 2 down, 7 to go. what will happen next? find out on the next episode of...DRAGONBALL Z! **


	4. Question 3

**A/N: you guys are great, seriously. you're great. all the wonderful reviews i'm getting brighten my day like sunshine. muchas gracias mis amigos! GROUP HUG! :D**

**here's chapter four ("question 3"). enjoy, r&r, and eat your vegetables! (ew.)**

**OH one more thing. xcaliforniagirlx **& **x3lldanierallsanllx3**** guessed correctly that yes, i do have flying pigs in my pants. therefore they both get cookies...well half a cookie since i only have one. SHARING IS CARING :)**

**and the flying pigs are still in my pants. help please?  
**

_Disclaimer: iCarly is owned by Dan Schneider. This story, concept and all, is owned by me. Steal and die, foo's!_

_

* * *

_**Question 3: If you see him at a distance, do you keep staring at him?**

**A) Yes.**

**B) No.**

----------flashbacklolwut----------

Sam fumbled with her combination lock at her locker. _17, 27...but what's the last number? _Sam thought. She could never remember her locker combination, not even when the bell is going to ring in five seconds and she desperately needs her algebra book.

"Hello, Samantha," Carly approached her, with a smile on her face.

"Hey, Carls," Sam said, still flustering with her lock. "Do you happen to remember--"

"17, 27, 6." Carly recited. 

_It's almost like she knows me like the back of her hand. _Sam thought. She sighed of relief when her locker finally budged open. Sam then proceeded to pull a Ziploc bag out of her locker filled with ham. "Left it in here yesterday," she said.

"Um...I'm scared to ask?" Carly said, her eyes still on the juicy ham.

"What? It's imported from Morocco! Morocco! They're known for their delicious bacon!" Sam yelled at Carly, shaking the bag in her face.

"I thought Morocco was known for their spicy foods and beautiful buildings," Carly questioned.

"Yeah, that too," Sam said, as she proceeded to shove her mouth with ham.

"Omigosh, guess what I heard?" Carly said.

"The Seattle Meat Market finally is carrying ham from Thailand?!" Sam said, excited.

"What, no!" Carly screamed, "Okay, so you know how Tim and Kelly are going out? Well, I heard from Cathy that they went on a date Wednesday..."

_Here we go again,_ Sam thought, already bored. Sam hated when Carly burst out onto one of her rants, whether it be about one of the biggest or smallest Ridgeway scandals. She didn't care if Pam is cheating on Bruce with Mikey. She hated most of the people in her grade with a few exceptions. The girls were bitches and the boys wreaked of douchebaggery.

_Oh, look, there's the king of nubs, himself, _Sam thought, looking at Freddie, who was having a conversation with Gibby and Josh, the captain of the chess team. _He's probably talking to them about the latest World of Warcraft weapon or the newest 5.23 flux hard drive. What a dork. It looks like his mom picked out his clothes today. An argyle sweater? Seriously? Freddie, it isn't a good idea to wear flammable material to school when I'm around. His hair looks different though. It looks normal...like he got a decent haircut. And by decent, I mean not done by his mother. It actually makes him seem less dorkier..._

"Sam, Sam? SAM?" Carly said, snapping her fingers in front of Sam's face.

"Wha--what?" Sam said, surprised, breaking out of her daydream.

"Who were you staring at?" Carly asked, turning around. "Freddie, Gibby. and Josh?'

_Oh crap, was I seriously staring at him that whole time?_ Sam thought. She turned beat red. "I, um, gotta get to class. See you later!" Sam quickly said. Without hesitation, she quickly ran to her first period class.

Carly blinked. "What is up with her?"

----------flashbacklolwut----------

Sam circled yes. "Never again," she sighed.

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**before i sign out, the next chapter might be....delayed (prepares for fruit thrown at her).**

**i'm sorry! it's my birthday on the 21st and i have birthday festivities to attend to! :( **

**i'll be back a.s.a.p, pinky swear! pinky swears are legit (haha i'm using my new yawk lingo)**

**R&R my beautiful peoples!  
**


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